The Fortnight.

Okay, actually I intended to update like super regularly, but whenever there's a week/consecutive days of trainings, I just do not use the computer.
AT ALL.

Am I weird or weird?

Yeapps, so let's just do a review.

(I'm supposed to go for extra gym session with HuiShan, Cy, Sandy & G, but well...I guess I'm gonna be late.)

The Saturday after food poisoning (26 Dec) was a cui day for Sandy and I.
I felt super unwell and weak.
:/
BUT THERE WAS A TIME TRIAL.

AND LO & BEHOLD, we broke a record.
13 minutes for 2km!
WTH!
It shocked the both of us to the max.
It slowness to the extreme laaaa.
Hahahah!
But well, we'll strive to do better! :D

However, personally felt the next few days were still bad.
):
It felt like she and I had peaked and is now dropping!
Gawd, no!

Went onto the K4 on 30th Dec; it was quite stable.
I think the arrangement surprised a lot of people and affected some.
As in, naturally assumptions are made that Rach, Cy, Xf, LimMin and G will be the ones trying K4.
Since Rach was on hols and LimMin finally returned, it's natural that they should be the one going on to k4.
& I have never thought that I would be given the chance.

The sudden change of people inevitably affected the people who were taken off the craft.
How can it not?

After training that day, I was pondering.
If it makes more people happy and less being affected, I rather not be on the k4.
I don't understand the honour, glory, privilege and exclusiveness of teh craft.

To me, it's just another craft, another boat to try.
To be given a change to try it, I'm gratified.
But if others really want to be on the craft, I don't mind not being on it since I've already tried it.

But life doesn't work this way.
And I, or rather all of us, can't have a say in such matters.

Following which, a few trainings later (on Monday), Cy, Sandy, Xf and I were put onto a K4 again for a short while after K2 training.
That day was extremely unstable and bad.
Moreover, others were not informed of a K4 training except the 4 of us.
Surprise and awkwardness happened again.

Sigh, I really don't like it.
):

I don't like it when team mates get affected over boat arrangements.
And it's a really awkward position to be in 'cause you "substituted" them.
:/

Sometimes, I think that coaches ought to explain their rationale behind their decisions.
We can't help being affected.
We can't help it if we are too weak/slow to catch your attention.

But all of your decisions and neglect affect us so.
):

Sigh.
The next day (Tuesday), there was again a new combination.
& that day, Rach, Cy, Sandy and I did K4 for the entire training.
It was the most stable K4 I've been, and according to Rach, hers too.
But ya, whenever there's a new combination of K4 and I'm included I feel very strange and I really don't know how to react.
SIGH SIGH SIGH.

On Wednesday, the combination was repeated again.
Training was rather good that day!
Stability was there, but I think we still need to work it out within ourselves.
There was serious jerking motions when we tried to do hard paddling and that totally freaks me out.
):

Ya, and to me, the difficulty level of K4 dawned on me.
It is not only super unstable, it also tests the patience of all 4 crew members.
& it's so much easier to be on a K2 as communication is more or less allowed.
But it's really hard on a k4.
:/

Yesterday, went on a k1 'cause Sandy went physio!!
It was rather fine for my third attempt.
:D

Could do harder paddling but still feel quite comfy in it.
Sigh, solo boats and crew boats are so different!!!

Long-d on solo boats will really kill you off man.
The loneliness is suddenly so strange to me.
I've kind of forgotten it since I've gotten off the T1.
:/
Grahhhh!

Really admire Rach and Yix!
& I can't believe I was not affected by this feeling when I was on T1 last time!
SO UNBELIEVABLE!

Competed with Rach for a 10 min hard paddling under Yosef's eyes.
Somehow got the feeling that I might be transferred over to K1 'cause I beat her.

Till now, I totally have no preference over what boat to take because I feel that each (k1,2 or 4) are so different and there's just pros and cons for each.

But I would like to take a solo even and a crew event cause the feeling is just so different!
(:

Whenever on a crew boat, I'm always the backman, so I feel less in control of the boat.
Like you can't set the frequency, nor can you change to direction.
Yeapps, but the feeling of companionship is really nice can!

Hahahahaha!
I think I'm really falling in love with canoeing.
:D

It's really a beauty!

.

Recently, (after camp), I feel that I'm closer to the general team, and I really enjoy the feeling a lot.
As in, I really understand now, that to be accepted, you must be accepting.

Everyone is truly unique and special and I can't believe how foolish I have been.

Even when Nats isn't over, I can feel that I'll miss them super much when everything ends.
:(

But ah, I HAVE A PROMISE TO MAKE.
I SHALL BE NICER TO HER.
Just because, I feel that I've been unaccepting.
and because I think she needs all the support she can get.

She has been strong this far, but people do give up when the going gets too tough.
And the team will never be whole without her.
Though I feel that the situation is super unfair to her, I can't do anything at all.

But to be a friend.

.

OKAY. GOT TO GO GYMMMMMMM!
TRY TO NOT BE TOO LATE!.
hahahah!